The struggles of working in the family business

So here I am, living in Seattle for 14 years now, over half my life...wow, where did the time go? Im a 27 year old woman breathing down the neck of 28, working for my family for almost 6 years, and finding myself pondering a lot of major life questions. Mainly each day I find myself asking that big looming question: What am I doing with my life?

Yep, that one is loaded, and its been hanging out right over my head in perfect cloud-like formation for, oh, about 5 years now. I mean, who doesnt ask themself that question every now and again? But DAILY? Really? Somehow though, Im thinking Im not alone here. So the question is what do I "DO" about it?

Well, first Ive been disecting it. When we arent ready to take action it seems this is where the mind goes first...Why do I feel this way? What would help move me towards a life that feels more fulfilled and happy? How do I get past the fear of change? The biggest factor for me so far has been the question of leaving the family business.

The Family Business - Do I stay or do I go?

To start, Ive been thinking a lot about the work I do - or rather the dynamics of my job. I design jewelry in my family's very successful custom jewelry business. Not so bad one would think right? Ive always been artistic, so design would seem like a natural fit. When I go to work everyone there is bopping around happy, excited to be there, designing some really amazing things, and then there's me, plodding around with my own personal storm cloud. I come off to most as happy and dedicated, and I promise you I am very good at putting that face forward. But alas, I just cant seem to truly LOVE what I do. Am I dedicated? yes. Do I have a lot of personal freedoms? again yes. Everyone I talk to tells me I "have it made" and how lucky I am to have the safety net of working for my family. And you know what? They are all right. I am lucky.

In a world with failing economies, joblessness, and struggle I fully admit and appreciate that I have a leg up in life. I have never once taken this for granted, and I love my family more still for providing this for me, but still my questions remain. I still have that looming wonder of how far I could go if I had the challenge of having to try it on my own. The thing I struggle with most working for my family is feeling any type of personal success. I havent "made it". I havent "succeeded". Hell, I havent even lived more than 20 miles from my family...EVER.

For those of you considering leaving your family business to try and pursue your own dreams, explore your own self, or just to feel the weight of expectation lift, I encourage you to NOT be AFRAID of those thoughts. I can promise you, guarantee you actually, those thoughts will not go away. They will only get louder, stronger, and more persistant until you find yourself like me with the "daily question" looming over you.

In a lot of blogs Ive read about moving away or leaving a family business someone inevitably recommends to pick another career direction, decide what youre good at, make a plan on getting into another field, and execute said plan. I say no no no. IF you, my dear reader (is anyone reading?) are anything like me, or in a situation anything like mine, this will just all be too much for you. It can feel overwhelming to try and do all these steps at one time. I also warn against spending too much time in the "disecting" stage as I have. You do have to take some sort of action or you will stay here forever.

I can honestly say right now that there is no room in my current life for me to develope interest in another career, let alone to pick one, make a plan, blah blah blah. Trust me, Ive tried...For example, I recently took a night class which required me to cut 1 hour off my shifts at work 2 days a week, and every time it was time for me to go inevitably someone had a work situation that had me choosing between going to class and helping in this moment of crisis. When you are in a family business, its a two-fold situation that ties up your life completely.

First, theres the business... Its like the new baby that the whole family is always talking about, cooing over, planning for, spending time with, and watching grow. It is ALL CONSUMING. And, rightly so, it should be. Any business needs "parents" and "family", people who will give their blood, sweat, tears and time to. This giving of yourself tends to double and even tripple when this business is your own family's. Watching this business fail would be like watching a family member flounder. Its just not good.

Second, theres the family... If you arent spending time with your #1 family member (the family biz), then youre very likely spending time with your actual human family. And they are discussing, cooing over, planning, yadi yadi ya about the business.

So you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place, or at least I have. So what now? I am 100% certain I cannot stay on this path forever. So how do I make a change when I dont even have time to develope other interests, let alone pursue them and move in another direction? Well, Im not sure yet, but I am thinking the answer may be to move away. Ive been doing a lot of reading about life, growth, and personal developement and I have firmly decided that everyone should move away from their family, from their nest of comfort and familiarity and boundaries, and break free at least once in their lives. So this is the potential change I am grappling with. Step one: Im taking a trip to Austin TX to see if its a place I can see myself living. Im scared to death of leaving everything I know behind, but you know what Im even more scared of? Not doing anything (a little shiver just went up my spine...yikes!). Must be a sign.

What about you? Have you struggled with this type of life challenge? I want to hear from you about your experiences, your advice, and your stories of happiness around making a big life change.